2.16.2016

"You Are Beautiful"



"Omg you are SO UGLY!"

There it was. 

My first negative blog comment. Forever ingrained in my brain.

My face got hot. I kept repeating the words over and over, saying it with different inflections, tones, and accents.

SO UGLY. so ugly. SO ugly. so UGLY.

I felt like my secret was out: I was an ugly beauty blogger.

Who would take beauty advice from an ugly beauty blogger?

I immediately deleted the comment. If Anonymous Commenter felt this way, surely everyone else did too.

Five minutes later, I deleted my picture from the post.

There would be no picture of me on my blog for another 8 months.

Let's talk about The Picture: a side profile, was taken with a phone in my bathroom. This was back when people actually read your posts with no ulterior motives, and no one had professional photographers take their pics. SEO was of no concern. Bloggers hadn't turned into "blog experts" yet, doing seminars across the country and such. We just blogged.

But back to the picture:

The lighting was awful. I had taken it first thing in the morning with no makeup, in my ratty pjs. No filters, just fuzzy 1.3 megapixels. I was trying to show a hairstyle. All the commenter saw was my face.

Exactly 8 months later, two amazing things happened.

I got another comment. This one was from a blogger asking why I didn't show my face. How can I demonstrate these beauty looks and hairstyles without showing what I looked like, she wondered.

Again, my face felt hot. She was right.

And then that night, I was in a grocery store parking lot, when I saw a note on my windshield that looked similar to this:



It was a sticker that said, "you are beautiful."

I turned around, looking for the culprit. Seeing no one, I stuffed the sticker into my pocket. 

Sometimes the tiniest things can make the biggest impact.

I taped you are beautiful to my mirror. It became the first thing I saw in the morning and the last as I brushed my teeth for the night. I would repeat it to myself over and over, in different accents and inflections.

YOU are beautiful. You ARE beautiful. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

I didn't believe it at first. But I started to notice little things, like my posture changed. I walked looking ahead instead of down. I smiled more instead of overanalyzing my every move, thought, or what I spoke.

"You are beautiful" no longer became a meaning for the mirror. It became a meaning for the inside of me, as well.

The pictures came back to the blog--still with a phone at first, and then moving on to a "real" camera.

I started making Youtube videos.

And one day I just knew. I took the crumpled You Are Beautiful sticker off the mirror. I removed the backing and stuck it on a lamppost in the same Kroger parking lot where it was left for me.

It's still there, four years later.

It's there for others now.

I don't need it anymore.

When was a time you felt beautiful?

80 comments:

  1. What a great story! Negative comments can really shake you up. Perfect timing that the sticker was left for you and now you've left it for others! Always remember that you are are beautiful inside and out!

    Jill
    Doused In Pink

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  2. Awe Elle, you are beautiful... it saddens me that anyone would be so cruel to another human being.

    I grew up thinking I was not the pretty one in my family... that was my sisters but now I know I am pretty... it comes from within... you have that beauty... xox

    The anonymous person has beauty within... that is sad

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  3. Elle, you are gorgeous! I can't believe someone would say that. So rude. Good for you for pulling through and realizing that you're truly beautiful :) have a wonderful Tuesday!

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  4. Such a beautiful post from a beautiful person! I am so sorry you've dealt with such nasty negativity. Don't you love when the right things come along at the right time like that sticker? Absolutely love your blog, and all your reviews and tutorials that include your gorgeous face <3
    Green Fashionista

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  5. ELLLLLLE!!! I'm so glad your post was the first thing that I read this morning. It's hard when others are mean or rude to us for no reason and can unfortunately cause us to doubt ourselves. I have been reading your blog and following you on social media for a little while now and I can say that You Are Beautiful. Your story is right on point in that knowing that we are beautiful increases our confidence and allows others to see how beautiful we really are. If you know it in the core of your being, no one can take that away from you.

    Happy Tuesday! :)

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  6. I don't understand why people feel the need to comment negatively. If you don't like something or the way someone looks just don't comment at all. What ever happened to "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"? You are beautiful and don't let one stupid person's comment ever get you down! They're probably just jealous anyway! <3, Pamela Sequins & Sea Breezes

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  7. i love this post. i don't get why people feel the need to tear others down. i'm actually writing a post about this that's going up tomorrow (bullying) and it just boggles my mind this is still a THING today. i'm glad you don't need that sticker anymore :)

    xoxo cheshire kat

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  8. Hi Elle ! thank you for your comment in my blog.
    Oh, wow - sometimes people have no idea the effect they have on us. I totally connected to you when reading this because sometimes it takes a moron across the world to make us feel bad, not worthy and insecure. Then again, there are those angels that are sent our way to give us that smile and nice comment. For a while now i have been trying to always comment positively when I meet someone, even if it is for the first time. We really don't know what anyone around is going through and a positive comment never hurts.

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  9. If you don't have anything nice to say.... shut your damn mouth lol! What a great story! You are beautiful and I totally agree that when you think of yourself that way it just becomes who you are and you exude beauty and confidence! I didn't really embrace it till my 30's but now I absolutely do. My favorite thing about you is still your beautiful southern drawl though... I love your snapchats when you start with "Y'all....". Have a great day Elle!

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  10. Great Post! It blows my mind that people are out there just to be mean and lower other's feelings. Love that you found that note on your car too - timing is everything!

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  11. It fascinates me how people can be so mean. If you don't like something don't read it, simple as that. Who are they to call you out so rudely! You are in no way ugly, I've met you, you are sweet and beautiful!! Don't let the opinion of one ruin something that we all love, you and your blog. And I love that you stuck the sticker back at the Kroger. That was awesome!
    Xoxo,

    Whitney & Blaire

    Peaches In A Pod

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  12. You are beautiful Elle! On the inside and out. Most beauty bloggers are so glamourous and gorgeous, yet seem like mean girls who couldn't care less about their readers. Not only are you beautiful on the outside, but you also seem like such a genuine, nice person which is even MORE important and why I visit and comment on your blog every day. I hope you remember that and never let those anonymous haters get you down again! <3

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  13. You are beautiful! I can't believe that somebody seriously wrote that comment on your blog! The best thing about the internet has got to be connecting people, but the worst has got to be the fact that people think they can say anything without any repercussions. I'm glad that you found that sticker and that it helped you to get your confidence back because I love seeing your beautiful face everyday showing me some awesome makeup and hair tutorials!

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  14. Thank you for sharing, Elle. Your story is similar to experiences many of us have. Putting ourselves out into public view allows damaged folk an opportunity to be cruel. The remedy to that isn't to shrink and hide but to steel ourselves and develop confidence. We ARE beautiful despite what any miscreant might say (and they always do it cloaked in anonymity). I've watched you grow here and feel happy to see your increasing confidence. I went through the same thing.

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  15. You are beautiful Elle! I cannot believe someone wrote that on your blog, What a terrible miserable mean person. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I love how you found that sticker, you were meant to a beautiful beauty blogger.

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  16. Awesome story, lady. I'm so glad you were able to overcome that comment- ps what is WRONG WITH PEOPLE, OMG. You are such a lovely lady- inside and out- and anyone who doesn't see that can kick ROCKS. :)

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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  17. I love how honest you are about everything. It's part of why you continue to be the only beauty blogger I consistently read.

    I cannot for the life of me figure out what possesses someone to post such a hateful comment on a person's blog. A blog is like your house and no one would walk into your home and insult you in such a way. And one negative voice is always louder than 100 positive ones. Which totally sucks. But I'm glad you've been able to overcome it because you are absolutely beautiful (and my #redlipglossgoals).

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  18. Great story! You are truly beautiful. Always.

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  19. Few things
    1. Who is an a-hole that they have to take time to write "you are ugly"... what the heck? Some people are just mean for mean sake - which says a lot about them.
    2. I love that sticker & want to go around & put it on people's cars myself
    3. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!!! I'm so glad you have found your strength in your beauty. Everyone is unique in their looks - God made us individual - but your beauty SHINES through every post, video & picture.

    All I gotta say - haters gonna hate hate hate ;) Dont sweat any negative comments

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  20. This is a great story. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! The Internet can be full of some terrible people (especially the anonymous ones) and it can be hard to not let them hurt your feelings.

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  21. The simple fact that they commented anonymously should have been an indication that they, in fact, are the ugly one. You make me want to go buy a bunch of motivational stickers and leave them all over town. I totally agree that the smallest things can make someone feel amazing. (:

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  22. What an incredible post! Puberty was really unkind to me and I was awkward in middle school. One time, a boy and I were hanging out at a youth event and another boy asked him, "why are you hanging out with an ugly girl?" I was utterly humiliated. I already hated my frizzy hair and acne prone skin. His comment sunk my self esteem even further.

    The first time I realized those boys were wrong was on the bus. Some of those same greasy haired, baggy pants boys were looking at a Victoria's Secret magazine and actually ranking those models based on looks. I thought, who are you to judge those women??? Who are you to judge me??? I took their power over me away in one thought.

    I learned to take care of myself better and I grew out of my awkward phase. I still struggle sometimes. But I realized just as you did true beauty comes from within. Beautiful people can be ugly. You help people learn to take care of themselves and encourage their insides. That is your legacy. You are not only beautiful outside, but inside as well!

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  23. You are beautiful Elle! I agree with others saying that there's no need for anyone to comment negatively on anyone's posts or pictures. I love the sticker and I love that it's still where you put it 4 years ago!

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  24. It always amazes me that the "trolls" of the internet can be so brazen, so rude, so uncaring and just plain cruel. Pay them no mind and know that you are beautiful.

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  25. This is a wonderful post. I am so sorry some jerk said that to you, people can be so cruel. And you are beautiful, I can see it on the outside and am starting to tell on the inside! I want to hug whoever put that sticker for giving out random acts of kindness, they are the best. Thanks for sharing!

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  26. I love love love this post! I will never understand negativity or cruelty like that and I hate that you had to face it. But what a beautiful story of redemption! You are beautiful!!

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  27. Omg Elle, this touched my heart. It's true the smallest little things can mean so much and come up exactly when we need it. This is a beautiful story and I'm thankful that you shared it. When I was trying to recover from my eating disorder, the word "overcome" became something I held to my heart and said in my head in my darkest moments of recovery when all I wanted was to give up and kills myself or either resort back to killing myself slowly with the e.d.. I made a sign that said "overcome this day" and it had it in my barroom and looked at it every day. And I got through, I did overcome. :) I love hearing stories like this. I'm so happy you realized the truth, that you are sooo beautiful Elle. :) and you have so much talent and love to offer the world. Thank you for all you do:)

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  28. This is such a wonderful post! Really, I got the chills reading this! Very truthful and honest. I hate that someone told you that, because you are beautiful. So glad you that you added back in the pictures to your posts!

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  29. What a lovely post! You are truly beautiful, Elle, both inside and out. This is something I struggle with too, and it's unfortunate that it is usually sparked by one jerk saying some careless, cruel remark.

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  30. This just makes my heart happy! Sometimes, I wonder why we live in such a cruel world where people can hide behind their computer screens and forget that these harsh comments are going to REAL people with real feelings. I love that you took the sticker back to the parking lot you received it in!

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  31. XOXO
    Thank you for sharing this, Elle:) You're a rock star.

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  32. This is such an inspiring post! And yes, it's important to remember that you are truly beautiful!

    Connie | Sponsored by Coffee | Etsy

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  33. Seriously that was such a beautifully written post. It is so hard to see all these pictures have been airbrushed and app finished and still feel okay with yourself sometimes I totally get it. I love that you completed the circle by putting that sticker back. Hopefully it will inspire someone else like that way it did for you!

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  34. This is such a touching post. Society is so concerned and focused on the outer beauty but are taking steps in the right direction. I truly believe that everyone is beautiful in their own way and that beauty comes from within.

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  35. I don't get why people leave negative comments and sometimes I wonder if it is more out of jealousy then anything else. You just don't know, so you can't put any weight on it. Plus, if YOU love yourself then it doesn't matter what anyone else says. I am glad you found that sticker at just the right time. :) I think you are gorgeous and I love all of the photos that you include of yourself, even the ones where you aren't al done up. Sometimes it is nice to see someone not all done up, it makes you seem more real. Thanks for this post today!!

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

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  36. I will never understand what someone gets out of saying something so cruel to another human being. Why? I just don't get it.
    I had my very first nasty, mean comment on my 2015 Favorites video...I was a little shocked at first, then I laughed, but then it hit me...someone out there thought I was ugly, stupid, and annoying. Someone who has NEVER met me, someone who only saw part of me, and someone much, much older than me. No kidding, she could be my grandmother. How can she say something so rude, she should know better!

    I almost quit then and there...I still think about it. And everytime I sit down to film, I imagine her saying that what I had to say didn't matter, that I need to get to the point and that no one cares about my dog because it's a beauty channel...
    I'm working on forgetting...but it's still so new.

    I'm glad you were able to overcome this Elle, you are such a beautiful person, inside and OUT! I'm glad to have "met" you through this blog journey of mine. I have to say, you have been one of my inspirations. Thank you!

    xo, Lily
    beautywithlily.com

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  37. People can be so awful. I will never understand why people feel saying such hurtful things is ok. You are so beautiful, Elle! And this was a beautifully written post!

    xo, Rachel
    A Blonde's Moment

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  38. Awww... I love that it's still where YOU put it! :D

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  39. People can be so evil. But I love the sticker helped you and is now still where you put it so others can benefit from it as well.

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  40. I love that you've taken that sticker's message to heart and left it for others now. As long as we show kindness and love we are all beautiful!

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  41. I love this! Although it came from a very horrible experience for you. Something amazing came from it.
    I will do two things....find a sticker just like what you found and leave it for someone to find. Secondly, I'm going to find one for me. Post it for not only my eyes but the eyes of my soon to be 7 yr old daughter.
    Thank you for sharing!

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  42. What a wonderful story. You are beautiful no matter what people say.

    http://www.amysfashionblog.com/blog-home/

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  43. I love this! People can be so mean, and I don't get it. I think you're pretty and I love your photos.

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  44. It's so easy for people to be negative and mean when they're hiding behind a keyboard and the internet. I'm sorry that you had to deal with such negativity in the first place but good for you for overcoming it and thank you for sharing this with us.

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  45. I love this so much! I don't know how to put it into words. I always fear that one day I'll get some sort of negative comment. I'm someone who takes those things to heart. But I'm so so happy you realized that you are beautiful and no one can take that away from you with mean words. I also love that you passed on the message in that same parking lot for someone else to see.

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  46. Awww I got goosebumps reading this story! I'm so glad you realized your inner and outer beauty and decided to show your face again on your blog.

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  47. oh, elle, you just made me cry!! You are so beautful inside as much as outside, a rare quality in today's self-absorbed world��.

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  48. This story made me tear up just a little. You ARE beautiful, inside and out.

    Trolls are awful. I've received some truly cruel comments on my blog. I don't know why people feel the need to be nasty.

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  49. Trolls at their best. Usually a comment so direct is from someone who knows you in person and dislikes you. The parking lot sticker was a sign. That's beautiful you put it back for others to see and feel. Never let ANYBODY get in the way of you and your blog.

    - Harlynn
    mindyourmadness.blogspot.com

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  50. What a beautiful story! You are beautiful, and even better, you are inspiring. This is a beautiful reminder to ignore the trolls in life and online :)

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  51. People can be so mean! I don't understand why they feel the need to leave such hurtful comments. You are beautiful! I love that you left the sticker for other people to see :)

    xo,
    Angela

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  52. Wow, i couldn't imagine. People are ass**les. I have a mouth, i have an attitude but i would NEVER say that to someone. Also, why hide behind anon? I don't get that one. If you are going to be a jerk at least own it!! I have only had to delete one comment, i am pretty sure i know who it was too.

    I would never think you ever had self-esteem issues. Good thing you didn't let that person stop you from posting.

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  53. Oh how I love this! I admit I've always had those same feelings when I do beauty posts... I do not have professional pictures taken! I'm just a normal woman who enjoys makeup. This brought tears to my eyes. you are so beautiful, elle! Thank you for sharing this part of yourself.

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  54. what a sweet ending, elle! I'm sorry you had to deal with this, so totally disrespectful, immature, and just sick (and obviously not true!). these things only make you stronger, and you are a rockstar. haters gonna hate :)
    xx, lauren
    laurensparkle.com

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  55. I cant believe anyone would actually say that. First - it is not true. And second - it is cruel. You are beautiful. My beautiful daughter is bullied all of the time at school. I think most of it is jealousy. The rest is ignorance and cruelty. She is slowly learning not to listen - and that she is beautiful and perfect just as God made her. I wonder if these mean girls know the lasting effect their words have on others. Bless your beautiful soul Elle (and your lovely face). Susan

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  56. That is the meanest thing I've ever heard! People can be so mean online... behind a screen. Do not believe any of those words! You are a gorgeous, strong and talented woman! Keep on crushing it! :)

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  57. This is such a beautiful story, Elle - and so inspiring.

    xx

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  58. Aw, I love this post so much Elle! You are definitely beautiful and don't ever let anyone tell you differently!

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  59. It is amazing, such a lovely story, I mean, started in a bad way, but ended up so amazingly! And now it's there for others to see, you are beautiful! You are beautiful, indeed, but what does it really matter for haters on internet? They will write the most horrible things. I imagine how sad their lives are, to write such a horrible comment! Well done, you are much more than a beautiful face, you are beautiful on the inside as well!
    DenisesPlanet.com

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  60. You are beautiful doll, don't listen to people like that x

    Florals&Smiles

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  61. I wonder what makes people say negative things like that? And for what? I do not get it.
    We are beautiful inside and out!

    Agnes
    findinglifebalancewithagnes.blogspot.com

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  62. I love this so much and it's something I need to be reminded of from time to time. You are beautiful!

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  63. Lovely story that you shared. Sometimes people are must just be unhappy with themselves if they leave comments like that. Glad that you continued to be positive and triumphant in the end.
    FASHION TALES // Eco-Chic

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  64. Elle, this was a beautiful post and you ARE beautiful. People who leave negative comments like that do so out of jealousy and poor self-confidence themselves. I am SO glad that you now feel comfortable sharing your pretty face with us and that you have gained your confidence back.

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  65. awww i love that you stuck it on a lamppost. love love love it.

    i'm sorry someone was rude enough to leave a horrible comment. i would take being ugly on the outside - which you are NOT and I'm glad you know that - over been ugly on the inside. what a horrible person.

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  66. Lovely post Elle. You are so beautiful inside and out!! I have been called all manners of forms of ugly my entire life and severely bullied. Every time I post a picture of myself I get nervous. But I am happy with what is inside me and that makes me feel beautiful :)

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  67. Such a beautiful heartfelt post. I love that someone left that note for you and the difference it made and so touching you then put it back out there for someone else to read.

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  68. Awe that makes me so mad and sad for u. I've got a comment like that on a YouTube video. But I just deleted and moved on! Great story Elle!!!!

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  69. It is crazy to me that someone even had the nerve to make another person feel bad about themselves. I work in a middle school and see that behavior constantly with these young girls. It is really up to us women to show them that we are here to help build each other up and not break each other down.

    I am glad you found your beauty in and out.

    www.velee.weebly.com

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  70. Wow, Elle! What an amazing story! Words are powerful and it goes to show how careful we all need to be about what we say. I love how you left it on the lamp post for others. It reminds me of Operation Beautiful. I'm glad you were finally able to see the truth- that you really are beautiful! You should submit this story to a magazine or something. It's really amazing!

    Christie
    The Closet By Christie

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  71. People have different tastes but I can't imagine an ugly person actually. For me ugly is not about nature but about how this person's personality is shown on the face.. oh and it has to be neat. As for the topic - I can't understand how you could be called ugly. This person must be blind or a troll who finds pretty ladies and tell them ugly things. I'm so happy you received the comment making you posting your own photos again Elle!

    For the the first negative comment (I remember it still word to word) wasn't about my face but about look. From that moment for couple of months I couldn't make myself snap my unusual outfits keeping things closer to classic boring combos which couldn't be called anything special and actually worthing to keep a blog for. It was until my hubby snapped my different outfit (rocking colors, band tees etc) and practically forced me to post it.

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  72. I LOVE this. What an amazing story. And I super love the person that randomly left that on your car. What a blessing. I need to steal that idea :)

    p.s. you're beautiful

    Aubrey Leigh

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  73. Thank you so much for writing this post, Elle! I just had my first blog troll last week, and while I knew immediately what it was, it was still very hard to deal with. We all need those little reminders sometimes. I'm so glad someone reminded you!

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  74. This was such a great story. I hate that there are people out there who think the anonymity of the internet gives them the right to say whatever they want to people, but I absolutely love that you had others (known or unknown) in your life who could give you your strength and confidence back to start posting pictures again. I love all these comments and how supportive they are, and that's something that helped me feel beautiful when I've had rude blog comments. Knowing that most of the blogging community is supportive and kind and empowering makes a difference. Thanks for sharing this!

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  75. I don't know why people feel the need to make such rude and hurtful comments! You are gorgeous Elle! People need to realize that writing hurtful comments is just wrong. This is great story and I'm glad you decided to share it with us!

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  76. I read this post the other day but I have been so busy and I am so behind with blog reading and commenting sorry.

    First of all, you are beautiful Elle. This post proves it furthermore. I like how you started the post a little bit negative but ended with a true positive. What a great true story! Now someone else who is beautiful has seen that note at Kroger.

    You know being told you are ugly has happened to me too. Remember a couple of years ago all those mean and rude comments made at Gomi? I will never forget that you were the first who commented and showed that you cared. In my true honest opinion someone who tells someone they are ugly physically, is indeed the ugly one. The person who made that nasty comment is the ugly one. They are ugly on the inside, which also makes them ugly on the outside. Why some people choose to be that way is their choice and their comment. I have learnt that the best thing to do is ignore it and go on with your positive day. I know it hurts and I have been hurt like that before too, but I didn't loose sleep over it.

    By the way I commented on this post earlier from my iPhone and blogger broke. That is why I hate commenting from phones. But I was determined to comment again and it is 1.30 in the morning.

    Longest comment ever garrison. Hope you don't mind. :-)

    Remember Elle: you are beautiful.

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  77. This is just amazing. I hate that someone was mean to you . . . why must some people just bring the negative? But you learned an invaluable lesson in the process . . . you ARE BEAUTIFUL. Not just on the outside, but the inside too . . . where it truly matters. Thanks for sharing . . . very moving post!

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  78. Oh my gosh, you ARE beautiful, Elle! I wish we lived in a world where people understood the impact of their words on another human being and would refrain from leaving hurtful, troll-like comments. I'm so sorry that caused you to stop showing your face for 8 months, but the kind comment and the you are beautiful sticker and the journey you went on - it all sounds like you're stronger and more confident beach of it. You should be very proud of yourself! I'm proud of you! And I love your face! And your fun personality in your YT videos! Much love to you! <3

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