What I Wish You Knew About Elle

Hello there blog reading people! I'm A*****.

I'm Elle's MUCH younger and MUCH better looking bff.

When Elle asked me to guest post on her blog, I was kind of shocked and thought it was a dumb idea because SHE'S the beauty expert. That's why we keep her around!

I said I would only do it if could write about ANYTHING I wanted and if she didn't change what I wrote. Since this is her blog, I'll write about her! Here are some things I wish you knew about ELLE!

• She LOVES her blog and beauty stuff. ALL of it. She REALLY loves it. She creates her own bath products, skin, hair, and makeup products. We are lucky because she gives it to us FOR FREE! And the extra makeup stuff she gets. She will talk about her blog or makeup-y beauty things all day if we let her. Sometimes we have to tell her to chill because she's literally gone on about mascara for like 35 minutes.

• We all think we're beauty EXPERTS because we've seen makeup videos on Youtube. I pretend I'm one and my kids think I'm crazy. But Elle KNOWS HER SHIT.  I've seen her talk shop with celebs and beauty industry types and she ALWAYS holds her own. She's even thrown them some tips. Blog reader people, she's been published in magazines and helps creates makeup. Elle is kind of awesome. And not just because she knows me! I kid.

• One of the first times I got the girl to talk was when I asked her to tell me her favorite makeup item. She instantly said, "Lip balm. Because I have over a dozen uses for it." Me, being the smart ass that I am, said, "Name them then." She rattled off TWENTY uses. We've been friends ever since. I never doubted her again. 

• We call her GOOGLE because she's so frigging smart. Look Elle, I didn't cuss there! Ask her anything about ANYTHING and she knows the answer. Except for sports. And math. Maybe we should rethink this nickname?

• She's FIERCELY PROTECTIVE of her friends and family. I can BET she's taken my name out of this post, hasn't she. We always joke with Elle that her friends are invisible, and yes I will admit sometimes I want to show up in her Instagram pics. But she explained to me once, "I put myself out there on the Internet. I can't control what happens to my pictures, what I say, or what people think of me. Sometimes they say mean things. I don't want that to happen to the people I love, so I don't really post pics of anyone." I think that's fantastic and I respect that. But I still want to be on her Twitter or something!

• She's HILARIOUS. She's a silly goober. My kids love her. She's easily one of the funniest people I know. She tends to make hilarious remarks under her breath or quietly so most people miss out.

• Elle is SO PRIVATE AND SHY until you get to know her. She never talks! She observes. To see her face light up, just ask her about makeup :) She never tells your secrets and never talks about herself. We didn't know for 3 years that she had a blog!

• She has the KINDEST HEART but she never asks for anything. Always giving. She does a bunch of charity stuff and pays off people's layaways at Christmas. All kinds of amazing shit like that. If you tell her you need her, she's there in a second.

• She DOESN'T REALLY CUSS yet NEVER judges you for anything. I cuss like a sailor and judge people on the regular. It's my speciality! But she still loves me anyway! If you're a good person and are nice to others, that's all that matters to her. She's one of the most OPEN MINDED people I've ever met. She has friends of all types. 

• She's a KARAOKE QUEEN. My girl can SANG. She comes to life on a microphone. She is also known to hog the microphone and not let anyone else sing. Maybe a duet.

• I wish she wasn't so SENSITIVE and would stand up for herself more often. She takes this blogging shit too serious and gets upset when people don't love her blog like she does. Or she thinks some of her readers don't like her, which is crazy. 

• Elle is one of the most wonderful people I know. I'm glad to be considered her friend. She's awesome. And I hope you already knew that! Thank you for giving me the chance to tell everyone how much your friends love you and how great you are!